“Well, everything is OK. I have many friends here, yeah, boss treats me well. Err…mom; I have to go back to work. I’ll call you later.” I hang the phone, again. I have to hang the phone, I don’t want to let mom hear my sad voice. I always tell mom I’m leading a good life, but actually I’m really lonely, extremely lonely.
I was born in a beautiful village. Life there was simple and happy. My parents hoped me to spend my whole life there happily, without any misery. However, I wanted to see the world outside the village. I wanted to be a big fish in the sea, instead of the pond. I studied very hard and passed the college entrance examination. It was New York University. I still remember how crazy I felt when I knew I made it! Filled with excitement and hope for my colorful future, I left the village and came to the most fashionable city, New York.
In the university, I made some new friends, but I could see that they didn’t like me very much, because I was a country girl. They went to parties and changed boyfriends frequently. However, the only thing I did in my college time was study.
Luckily, after graduation, I found a job in a big company. I became an office lady. Better future lies in our own hands. So I worked very hard, sometimes, I stayed in my office until ten o’clock in the evening. My eyesight became very poor, I had to wear glasses. But I had to keep good image, so I wore contact lenses.
Unconsciously, it has been seven years since I left home. I have been a workaholic for three years. Sitting in front of computer for more than 12 hours a day, my eyes feel tired. My heart is tired, too. I have stayed here for seven years, but I don’t even have a good friend. All people to me are just acquaintances. When I’m sad or happy, I look at the phone number but don’t know who I can call. I’m always busy studying or working. I can earn enough money but I’m lonely. In the dark night, I can only hear me crying in the empty house. Finally, I have the feeling that I should go back home. But that means I have to give up everything I struggle for in New York. What should I do?
I take off my contact lenses and put on frame glasses. I think of my happy childhood in the village. It’s like a relief. I miss my family. Maybe I should follow my heart. If I don’t have sense of belonging, you are a tramp wherever you are.